Monday 15 October 2012

Finding your own Eskimos

I spent part of the weekend at the Willow Creek Association Global Summit in Coventry. Over the course of 2 days we heard from 10 speakers many of whom were giving talks which were linked to their recently published books. The summit was about leadership and was applicable to commercial, not for profit and church contexts.

As with all these type of events one tends to suffer from information overload by the end of two days but it is always interesting to discover a couple of days later the ideas and thoughts that have resurfaced and will be of future use and worth greater reflection.

One of the speakers, Jim Collins, spoke about a study which he had undertaken to identify the factors that made projects or organisations succeed where others failed. He referred to a comparative study of Scott and Amundsen and their respective expeditions to the South Pole.

One of the key features in Amundsen's success was his use of dogs to pull supplies on sleds. Scott had used untested new technology, the motorbike and then resorted to using ponies. The motorbikes could not cope with the extreme temperatures and neither could the ponies. The result was that the men in Scott's expedition had to pull their own sleds.

As part of his preparation Amundsen went to live with Eskimos. He learnt from people who were used to living in extreme cold how they lived, what tools and technologies they used and how to survive and thrive in a frozen wasteland.

He discovered that dogs were the most reliable method of transport and ideally suited to the cold conditions.

There were other key differences i their approaches. Interestingly, Amundsen decided that whatever the weather or conditions his team would walk 20 miles each day. This thorough research before the project and the steady progress once the project commenced, together with other similar strategic preparations and decisions, resulted in success.

I have been challenged to find my own 'Eskimos' in connection with some of the more challenging and innovative aspects of my work. I have also been thinking about the need to pace oneself and be realistic about what can be achieved each day in order to get there be back without risking health and wholeness.

Do you need to find some Eskimos, people who have gone before you, people who have experience and expertise that you can learn from and use?



Monday 1 October 2012

Why I'm not blogging more

So officially I'll tell you that I'm far too busy to find time to blog. I do just about manage to share some thoughts and ideas once a month but I really don't have time to do more than this.

However, this really isn't true. The main reason I don't blog more is that when I think of the issues that are bouncing round in my mind they really don't seem to be the sort of thing that should be shared. Generally my thoughts are about the frustrations of life, the disappointments, the things that I wish were better or improved and the things that make me feel trapped and inadequate.

I've concluded that my head is a fairly negative place and sharing what's going on inside isn't terribly uplifting or helpful. I try to tweet and Facebook cheerfully but to write more than a 140 characters of cheerfulness is a little daunting sometimes!

Being this honest with myself and you must be a good thing. Is honest sharing better than not sharing? Is it better just to share that which encourages and builds others up?

On the plus side I do seem to have found some fairly positive things to say at least once a month for almost a year. A friend told me that they always remember one thing that made them smile and one kindness that they had experienced each night before going to sleep. I need to encourage her to start blogging!

So I want to express my gratitude to those who blog regularly with humour, courage and warmth - thank you!

Saturday 8 September 2012

Generosity and thankfulness

One encounters many different people in life and I have recently become fascinated by the completely different experiences that those who are generous have when compared with those who are mean.

I am not just talking about financial or material generosity, although that is clearly part of it, I am also thinking of those who are generous with their time, their skills and knowledge. As well as those who are generous enough to really take pleasure and delight in the success and achievements of others.

Generous people are a pleasure to be with. Time spent with them brings life and energy and an increased sense of well being. Time spent with those who are not generous so often has the opposite effect.

Those who are in the habit of giving generously also tend to be people who are quick to express their gratitude to others. I have noticed that people who tend to hold onto what they have and do not approach life with a generous spirit are slow to be thankful, grateful or pleased for others. Being generous comes at a personal cost which those who practice generosity would be aware of and I suspect that it is this knowledge that results in their gratitude and thankfulness when they receive generous gifts from others.

It is said that the best things in life are free but I disagree. I think the best things in life come from those with generous spirits, who don't count the cost of their generosity, those who give willingly and receive thankfully. Things of real value in life do require an investment of time and effort and while these things are often without monetary cost there is personal cost with choices having to be made about how to spend time and resources. Think about friendships, family relationships, knowledge, skills, fitness - all of these things require an investment of time, energy and sometimes other resources.

I think that most worthwhile things come at a price, they cost someone something even if they cost us nothing to receive and enjoy.

Monday 13 August 2012

Going it alone

I have been surprised at how very much I have enjoyed the Olympics! I am not a big sports' fan and do not tend to watch much sport on TV (unlike the other members of my family!) but since the wonder of the opening ceremony I have found myself more often than not glued to the coverage or scouring the papers for the results of events that I missed.

What has impressed me most is the humanity of the games. Competitors pushing themselves physically, emotionally and mentally to achieve their best. Yet while only the competitor can compete there are coaches, supporters, family and friends behind the scenes who have been there throughout and who are living each moment of the competition as if they themselves were competing.

Success or failure results in competitors weeping in the arms of those who love and support them. During interviews most paid tribute to family, friends, coaches and supporters. It was touching how many athletes in the closing ceremony were trying to convey messages of thanks and love to their families and noticeably their mothers!

Mo Farah spoke of the loneliness of training and the weeks spent away from his family. How strange that this lonely preparation plays out on a global stage and now the medalists have become household names, people we feel we have a connection with and who are know to us.

This caused me to reflect how this mirrors life. How so often our greatest struggles have to been faced alone and only we can undertake the necessary prepare but there are those who are there for us as coaches, friends and family. Those willing us on, cheering from the sidelines, checking the stop watch, holding a towel or bottle of chilled water. Success in life is knowing what you need to do alone and what others can help you with. It is also about knowing when it is your turn to be the competitor or when you need to offer support or be a "running partner". Life is a balance of going it alone while at the same time being part of a team.



Monday 23 July 2012

Changing Times

Life is a series of changes and transitions, some of which we choose for ourselves others are chosen for us. Sometimes we embrace the change, other times we resist it and cannot foresee positive outcomes. Either way change brings its own stresses as we move from something that is familiar and comfortable to something that is new and unfamiliar. Any change involves leaving something and often someone behind and launching into the unknown. Sometimes we can imagine that unknown place or situation, we can even be convinced that it is right place to move to, but essentially we have no idea what it is really like or how being there will really feel until we have taken that step of leaving one place and then entering the other.

Usually we do not really know what we have left behind until we have left it, to quote the singer Joni Mitchell "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone". Often it is the unexpected things that we miss and sometimes we grieve those losses. The last 10 days have involved three such changes. In many ways it feels like a lot in a short space of time!

I have said goodbye to someone who I have only known a short time but who I am privileged to count as a friend due to that person relocating for work. I have attended the funeral of a lovely man who died aged 94 and who I was also a privileged to count as a friend. In both cases I was pleased for them that they have moved on to better things, the latter forever. Yet in my delight for them I am already sad for myself that they are not part of the everyday pattern of my life as they once were.

As well as goodbyes to individuals we are also saying another goodbye. As a family we are moving Churches and yesterday was our last Sunday at the Church we have attended for almost 10 years. We have been open with everyone for a number of months about our thoughts and sense that it is time to move on. So we are in the comfortable position of leaving openly and with a sense of mutually blessing one another in this leaving process. Formal goodbyes and prayers for one another have been said and friendships continue but it isn't the same as being in that comfortable place with familiar people and it will take time to replace that sense of belonging that we are moving from in the place that we are going to.

Endings are not easy, goodbye is often tinged with sadness and a sense of loss. Those new places are as yet undiscovered and give rise to a sense of excitement and anxiety. A wiseman once said "if you want to walk on water you've got to step out of the boat". I totally agree and by nature am fairly up for change and taking risks but I have enjoyed this chance to pause and share through blogging that the courage it takes to get out of the boat comes at a price and is part of a bigger picture and a journeying process.

I am also aware that many of you are facing situations which are forcing you out of your own boat due to an unexpected change of circumstances and for you the courage and emotional energy needed to deal with the transition and change is so very much greater. Be kind to yourselves and take time to pause and acknowledge how you're feeling.

Saturday 30 June 2012

Too busy ... to blog!

I've been too busy recently, entirely my own fault!  I've been doing lots of worthwhile things and rather neglecting myself and the things which are actually most important to me.  Since I stopped working in a law firm and operating within the usual pattern of working 9 to 5 I have found it very difficult to create a sensible working framework within my week.  It's disturbing how often I have to check myself, review priorities and make changes.
My thoughts turned to this very issue when I was asked to give one of the Tuesday Talks in Birmingham Cathedral in the current series on the Ten Commandments for the Workplace.  The title was Keeping a Balance and my topic was the fourth commandment, "to remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy".  I have to confess to feeling a little hypocrital as I stood in front of others this week to talk about taking Sabbath and rest!
I'm not talking about keeping Sunday special (although that may not be a bad idea) rather,  I have been reflecting on having regular time to relax, rest and reflect.  So my promise to myself is to prioritise Sabbath times.  Time to remember who I am in the context of the created world and who I am in Christ.  I will endeavour to create Sabbath times with four aims in mind:
First, rest – simply to recharge my batteries, to get a bit more sleep, to move a bit more slowly.  I was very entertained by something the Dean of Birmingham Cathedral tweeted a couple of weeks ago which read as follows; “Day off: pleasures of exercise, but really can’t run, try “power walking” but whats difference between this and hurrying?”  For some people power walking would be perfectly restful but for many it's wouldn't be!
Second, reflect on what I have been doing  and say “it was good” – practising delight as part of my Sabbath observance and discipline.
Three, time that dethrones the rule of work – to affirm that my life has more value than the work I do.   It is about making a choice to trust God rather than my own ingenuity.  By breaking our usual pattern of work activities we service notice on the powers that be that we belong to another kingdom, a place of freedom. 
Fourth, focus on God -  where possible to meet with others to worship, to spend time alone to pray, to listen to read and to rekindle my first love.  It’s a bit like having a date night with your spouse however long you’ve been married – getting back to what it’s all really about!
If you are interested here is the podcast to the talk I gave in Birmingham Cathedral:   http://bit.ly/KKENo8 

Wednesday 23 May 2012

Birthdays and thankfulness

It was my birthday last week.  I really enjoy birthdays, I never do very much, but it is always fun to hear from friends and have a few special treats.  This year I was given an ice cream maker which I am very delighted with.  A week on and I am perfecting the skill of ice cream making, we have enjoyed mocha ice cream, chocolate ice cream and mango sorbet so far.  As a result of the adverse impact this is likely to have my my waistline, and my birthday reflections, I have joined the gym and hope to exercise off the excesses of ice cream indulgence!

As well as an opportunity for treats and celebration of friends and life a birthday is also a chance to reflect and plan.  I have always felt glad that my birthday falls at this time of the year a good few months after New Year so that I can see how I'm doing in the light of the resolutions I made.  In our family we have another such opportunity in September when a new academic year starts for both husband and son and yet again a routine needs to be established after the summer break as we adjust to new timetables and a different but familiar routine.

I have been reflecting how easy it is to view the past through a false lense - sometimes I recall times as happier than they probably were in reality, sometimes I recall times as darker and bleaker than they were.  This is struck me particularly strongly when I met up with a friend last week that I'd not seen for a very long number of years.  Catching up on news was lovely but meeting reminded me of a time when I was less settled and much less happy.  It is a little bit unsettling to be unexpectedly transported back to a very different time in life and very briefly relive those emotions. 

So what have I concluded as a result of a birthday and a trip down memory lane - I enjoy getting older!  I have a greater sense of who I am and what my life is about.  I have a happier and more settled existence on so many levels, I have a much clearer idea about what creates a sense of well being and how to care for me in the midst of busyness and life.  I am more than thankful for what I have.  The practical result of these reflections is that I have joined a gym near where I work - a new year resolution for me personally!  My other birthday resolution is to practise thankfulness on a daily basis and avoid the risk of living either in the past or for the future.

My January resolution, that this was the year of friendship and I would work hard to meet up with people I'd not seen for a long time, is still going well - this weekend I am meeting up with an old work colleague (we were trainees together) who I've not seen for about 7 years.

Stopping to take stock is good.  Finding space to be thankful is even better.