Well the third day of lent and so far so good! This year we have given up TV and films - well almost! We have agreed that we will watch one hour of TV a day and the men in my life have negotiated that the 6 nations rugby is completely excluded from our TV fast (but all other sporting fixtures are included). The hope is that this really will release us to spend more time in prayer and reflection or just enable us to be more aware of God.
So far the the crossword and su doku puzzles in the newspaper have been done every evening and I think that we are talking and listening to one another a bit more - not sure God has featured to any greater degree yet but it is early days.
Last year we gave up sweets, cakes, crisps and alcohol, three years ago we gave up meat. The challenge to fast from something other than food arose a couple of years ago when my husband and I were in the process of serious weight loss and so to fast from food seemed a superficial approach to lent as we had been doing that through dieting since the start of the previous autumn.
That year I gave up praying with words (almost) and prayed by drawing, using colour and meditating on icons or religious art - it was really hard work and required a significant investment of time. I had to learn to hear God and communicate with him in a very different way. It certainly taught me self-control and slowness in prayer and how to examine my own heart before Him. Of necessity it took more time as each day I needed to sit with paper, pens or paints and pray.
The decision this year not to fast from food came from my own recognition that I can be diet and weight obsessed (of which more another time) and also from reading Mark 7 v 15 "Nothing outside a man can make him unclean by going into him. Rather it is what comes out of a man that makes him unclean." I really sensed that God was saying to me that my obsession with what I ate was not the issue but rather what I said and did. My words have the power to have a greater impact on others for good or bad than my weight - so obvious I know but quite a revelation to me a couple of weeks ago! So I sensed that the challenge this year was to do something which would have a greater impact on what I said or did. Creating more opportunities to be in the presence of Jesus, finding time and space to live more thoughtfully so that others are encouraged and built up is the priority this lent. Not spending too much time in front of the TV and having our heads filled with images and noise seemed to be a good way of creating the conditions which might help achieve this thoughtful living.
I am really interested in something which Catherine Ogle (Dean of Birmingham Cathedral) tweeted this week - she has given up meat and alcohol and put herself on a diet of poetry. I am looking forward to hearing more about this and in particular the poems that become important during this season. (Catherine is on Twitter @CatherineOgle should you want to follow her as she consumes poetry over the next six weeks.) It would be great to hear from you if you have given up something that isn't food or drink and taken up something else as part of your lent discipline this year.
Friday, 24 February 2012
Monday, 20 February 2012
Poetry Please!
I attended my first Burns' Night Supper this year. I was surprised by two things. First, the whisky, which I thought was delicious (I wonder whether this is a sign of ageing that a drink which seemed unpleasant in my younger days now seemed quite the opposite, or perhaps it was just good quality whisky!). Second, the poetry, and this really was a surprise to me.
The gathering was mainly friends and family of the friends who had invited us and they all knew one another well. After food we sat in the lounge and read 3 poems we had brought with us to one another - any poems. It was clear, generally speaking, that the older people had spent some time choosing poems that meant something to them whereas the younger ones (myself included) had leaved through a few poetry books or looked online just before coming out. It is not often as an adult that someone reads to you is it? It was a real joy, some people read with such feeling and emotion that the poem took on a new life and evoked images, fragrances and memories.
I have never been a poetry lover although I have been given poetry books as gifts and so assume others think that I am! I like the idea of poetry but I am not very confident about it. I believe this goes back to school days when I would form a view about a poem to then be told by the teacher what it was actually infact about and I discovered that I was usually wrong and had no true understanding. When I lived and worked in London I always used to enjoy the poems on the Underground and if my favourites were in the carriage in which I was travelling I always used to take this as the sign of a good day ahead!
So one of my challenges for this month has been to waste a bit of time with some poetry. To look at it on the page, to read it aloud to myself and to see what I think and feel about it. I hope to collect three poems for next year's Burns' Night Supper (assuming we get another invitation!) which have meant something to me during the year.
I have been helped along by the Times and The 30 Most Romantic Poems published a week ago Saturday. I was particularly taken with "Valentine" by Carol Ann Duffy in which an onion is given as a valentine gift.
My son also wrote a poem which he later explained to me and it didn't mean what I thought it meant but I decided that my own interpertation is valid and perhaps said something about me and what I was thinking when I read it - in truth he wasn't overly impressed with this approach but I did confess to having a history of inaccurately understanding poetry.
So if you have any poems that you would like to share with me I will take the time to read them and ponder!
A Poem about Snow by Caleb Walton
As I stand for a purpose
in the blocked night,
when the ground is covered by the
white blanket that causes havoc.
I stand for a purpose,
as I look for the reason
then the light enters and stays,
but the havoc remains.
I stand for a purpose
the light is still there,
but the night is still
blocked, this purpose is complete.
The gathering was mainly friends and family of the friends who had invited us and they all knew one another well. After food we sat in the lounge and read 3 poems we had brought with us to one another - any poems. It was clear, generally speaking, that the older people had spent some time choosing poems that meant something to them whereas the younger ones (myself included) had leaved through a few poetry books or looked online just before coming out. It is not often as an adult that someone reads to you is it? It was a real joy, some people read with such feeling and emotion that the poem took on a new life and evoked images, fragrances and memories.
I have never been a poetry lover although I have been given poetry books as gifts and so assume others think that I am! I like the idea of poetry but I am not very confident about it. I believe this goes back to school days when I would form a view about a poem to then be told by the teacher what it was actually infact about and I discovered that I was usually wrong and had no true understanding. When I lived and worked in London I always used to enjoy the poems on the Underground and if my favourites were in the carriage in which I was travelling I always used to take this as the sign of a good day ahead!
So one of my challenges for this month has been to waste a bit of time with some poetry. To look at it on the page, to read it aloud to myself and to see what I think and feel about it. I hope to collect three poems for next year's Burns' Night Supper (assuming we get another invitation!) which have meant something to me during the year.
I have been helped along by the Times and The 30 Most Romantic Poems published a week ago Saturday. I was particularly taken with "Valentine" by Carol Ann Duffy in which an onion is given as a valentine gift.
My son also wrote a poem which he later explained to me and it didn't mean what I thought it meant but I decided that my own interpertation is valid and perhaps said something about me and what I was thinking when I read it - in truth he wasn't overly impressed with this approach but I did confess to having a history of inaccurately understanding poetry.
So if you have any poems that you would like to share with me I will take the time to read them and ponder!
A Poem about Snow by Caleb Walton
As I stand for a purpose
in the blocked night,
when the ground is covered by the
white blanket that causes havoc.
I stand for a purpose,
as I look for the reason
then the light enters and stays,
but the havoc remains.
I stand for a purpose
the light is still there,
but the night is still
blocked, this purpose is complete.
Monday, 6 February 2012
When there's nothing to say
Well, I have been silent for over a week. When I was younger I was told "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!". This last week it has been a case of not really being able to formulate and process what it is that I would want to say rather than having something unkind or not nice to say.
On Thursday I attended the funeral of a two day old boy, a little man whose face I never saw. Sometimes there are no words....
I used to work with his father for a number of years and over time we became friends. His father met and fell in love with his mother and they married. I vividly recall bumping into his father who seemed to be walking on air a few months ago. He told me he had news and we went to a nearby coffee shop - it was clearly good news as he bought the coffees! He then proceeded to tell that me that he and his wife were expecting their first child, she was very nauseous and weary and he was thrilled to bits. He really was the cat who'd got the cream - or at least the skinny lattes that day!
We met again before Christmas when he was reciting some of his poetry at a Christmas event. Poems of meaning, insight, humour and wisdom. In between recitations the talk was of the pregnancy, and impending fatherhood - that time the lattes were on me!
Then unexpected disaster, the baby had to be delivered 10 weeks early and was very ill. During his short life he met all his close family and was christened.
So the funeral - the smallest coffin I have ever seen, the smallest wreath of spring flowers. It was profoundly sad and still there seemed to be no words. But during the silence, the songs, the prayers and the Eucharist inside an old church building there seemed to be a peace and sense of well being emerging for those present as the service progressed. The parents were naturally consumed with grief and yet there was a strength in the father and an elegance in the mother that was unexpected. These qualities seemed to grow in them as they so publicly owned their loss and disappointment. There was talk of hope and a future in heaven, of eternal purposes and meaningful lives. His father, the poet, did not write poetry but a moving and meaningful tribute to his son, his wife, their family and friends which recounted the events of the long three weeks that preceded that funeral day. There were words, written from the heart, from a place of knowledge, love and suffering. At last there were appropriate words.
After his little body was laid in the ground under an old tree in the ancient churchyard and painful goodbyes were said by members of his close family, we enjoyed hospitality and welcome that was gracious and generous. We met old friends and made new ones.
How strange that someone I never met has impacted my life so profoundly. I feel sure that I will remember his name and his funeral my whole life. It was made meaningful by the honesty, openness, generosity and hospitality of this little man's parents who wanted to celebrate a short life, own the pain of loving and losing and mark the value of friendship and being with those who care for you in such impossible circumstances. It profound because the only people who had the right to say something found courage and inspiration and spoke.
On Thursday I attended the funeral of a two day old boy, a little man whose face I never saw. Sometimes there are no words....
I used to work with his father for a number of years and over time we became friends. His father met and fell in love with his mother and they married. I vividly recall bumping into his father who seemed to be walking on air a few months ago. He told me he had news and we went to a nearby coffee shop - it was clearly good news as he bought the coffees! He then proceeded to tell that me that he and his wife were expecting their first child, she was very nauseous and weary and he was thrilled to bits. He really was the cat who'd got the cream - or at least the skinny lattes that day!
We met again before Christmas when he was reciting some of his poetry at a Christmas event. Poems of meaning, insight, humour and wisdom. In between recitations the talk was of the pregnancy, and impending fatherhood - that time the lattes were on me!
Then unexpected disaster, the baby had to be delivered 10 weeks early and was very ill. During his short life he met all his close family and was christened.
So the funeral - the smallest coffin I have ever seen, the smallest wreath of spring flowers. It was profoundly sad and still there seemed to be no words. But during the silence, the songs, the prayers and the Eucharist inside an old church building there seemed to be a peace and sense of well being emerging for those present as the service progressed. The parents were naturally consumed with grief and yet there was a strength in the father and an elegance in the mother that was unexpected. These qualities seemed to grow in them as they so publicly owned their loss and disappointment. There was talk of hope and a future in heaven, of eternal purposes and meaningful lives. His father, the poet, did not write poetry but a moving and meaningful tribute to his son, his wife, their family and friends which recounted the events of the long three weeks that preceded that funeral day. There were words, written from the heart, from a place of knowledge, love and suffering. At last there were appropriate words.
After his little body was laid in the ground under an old tree in the ancient churchyard and painful goodbyes were said by members of his close family, we enjoyed hospitality and welcome that was gracious and generous. We met old friends and made new ones.
How strange that someone I never met has impacted my life so profoundly. I feel sure that I will remember his name and his funeral my whole life. It was made meaningful by the honesty, openness, generosity and hospitality of this little man's parents who wanted to celebrate a short life, own the pain of loving and losing and mark the value of friendship and being with those who care for you in such impossible circumstances. It profound because the only people who had the right to say something found courage and inspiration and spoke.
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Taking a deep breath
I would really like to write something perky and upbeat but it's proving to be quite a tough month. So today I have decided to have a "plateau day", take a deep breath and reflect a little.
So many of those who are close to me, known to me or close to those who are known to me are experiencing loss, trauma, disappointment and anxiety. Generally speaking their circumstances appear to have arisen suddenly and unexpectedly since this year started. Perhaps January is always like this! Perhaps life is like this and I'd not spotted it before!
My role within a chaplaincy team does provide opportunities for a greater awareness of troubles and suffering. As I listen to people and try to hear with my heart sometimes I feel the tears welling up in my own eyes as my spirit identifies with them in their suffering and uncertainty. Sometimes being present with someone to listen or just be silent provides that person with companionship and support. Yet, however effectively a person is accompanied, grief and disappointment are places where people travel alone and come face to face with themselves, often in new ways.
Does it all seem worse because it is January and only a few weeks ago we felt we had a fresh start, a new year. We thought about changes and made resolutions which would make life better, more fun, more fulfilling, more energised and dynamic. Some of us have spent that last 26 days or so eating healthy food, taking more exercise and keeping our email inbox under some sort of control but we have discovered that we cannot control our circumstances, we can only control the way we respond to those circumstances. In extreme situations we feel that we cannot even control our responses and reactions.
Surely this is what it means to be human. As I take today to pause and reflect I have a rising sense of hope and encouragement that the message of Christmas, of Immanuel - God with Us, is all about humanity, owning life as it really is in adverse circumstances and yet finding God with Us. Perhaps when times are tough we discover God with Us primarily through one another and those who have the courage to be with us when we grieve, share our disappointment or feel paralysed by anxiety.
So let's take a deep breath and pause before having a good look round for those who are there for us, who provide us with hope, light, laughter and courage and then let's look for those for whom we can offer the same.
Even so I hear lots of you say "Roll on Feburary!"!
So many of those who are close to me, known to me or close to those who are known to me are experiencing loss, trauma, disappointment and anxiety. Generally speaking their circumstances appear to have arisen suddenly and unexpectedly since this year started. Perhaps January is always like this! Perhaps life is like this and I'd not spotted it before!
My role within a chaplaincy team does provide opportunities for a greater awareness of troubles and suffering. As I listen to people and try to hear with my heart sometimes I feel the tears welling up in my own eyes as my spirit identifies with them in their suffering and uncertainty. Sometimes being present with someone to listen or just be silent provides that person with companionship and support. Yet, however effectively a person is accompanied, grief and disappointment are places where people travel alone and come face to face with themselves, often in new ways.
Does it all seem worse because it is January and only a few weeks ago we felt we had a fresh start, a new year. We thought about changes and made resolutions which would make life better, more fun, more fulfilling, more energised and dynamic. Some of us have spent that last 26 days or so eating healthy food, taking more exercise and keeping our email inbox under some sort of control but we have discovered that we cannot control our circumstances, we can only control the way we respond to those circumstances. In extreme situations we feel that we cannot even control our responses and reactions.
Surely this is what it means to be human. As I take today to pause and reflect I have a rising sense of hope and encouragement that the message of Christmas, of Immanuel - God with Us, is all about humanity, owning life as it really is in adverse circumstances and yet finding God with Us. Perhaps when times are tough we discover God with Us primarily through one another and those who have the courage to be with us when we grieve, share our disappointment or feel paralysed by anxiety.
So let's take a deep breath and pause before having a good look round for those who are there for us, who provide us with hope, light, laughter and courage and then let's look for those for whom we can offer the same.
Even so I hear lots of you say "Roll on Feburary!"!
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Creating Community
Time for a bit of honesty people!
I started my current job as leader of City Lights, the ChaplaincyPlus group for the under 30s almost a year ago. ChaplaincyPlus is a Christian charity which provides personal support and encouragement to people working in the professional and commercial sectors in Birmingham City Centre. For me this new job, which is part time working flexible hours, marks a total change in career and lifestyle. I had spent the previous 20 years practising law, for the first 6 years as a Barrister and for the other 14 years as a Solicitor.
So this is something new, an opportunity to follow my passion and desire to encourage and support people in the workplace. It has been a joy to listen and journey and where appropriate share faith, hopes and dreams. But, - here is the honesty bit - I have not actually managed to do what I was recruited to do. The City Lights group that I inherited from my predeceasssor has reduced in size beyond all recognition. The events and gatherings that I have arranged have been poorly attended. I have met lots of new people and the one to one work has thrived but I am not creating community or a network of young adults who will provide one another with friendship, support and encouragement.
There are a number of reasons for this. There has been significant upheaval in the workplace over the last 18 months or so and this continues. Those who are more junior in organisations are being asked to work long hours, take up secondments, work out of other regional offices etc. The workplace for the under 30s is a place of fluidity, uncertainty and long working hours.
Arguably the changes in the workplace lead to many feeling ever more isolated and without the time to connect in any meaningful way with others. So here is the challenge, how do I create community amongst these young adults.
I am inspired and impressed by the effective use of social media by many independent small businesses which are building relationships with customers, suppliers and competitors. They are creating a sense of relationship, belonging, loyalty and community. Let me give you two examples, a couple of weeks ago I bought some delicious goats' cheese and by the end of the day I was tweeting Gary (@AndersonandHill) who sold me the cheese and Sarah (@brockhallfarm) whose goats produced the cheese. This week, I tweeted about eating delicious cake in Six Eight Kafe (@SixEightKafe) and by the evening I received a tweet from Gavin (@tobizzy2bake) who made the Guinness cake. What fun!
So begins the second year of this new career. I need to embrace and explore more widely the use social media and think creatively about how to create safe and interesting spaces of connection and community for those who have little time or who may not be physically present. Thoughts, ideas, experiences and inspiration are most welcome if you have any you would like to share!
I started my current job as leader of City Lights, the ChaplaincyPlus group for the under 30s almost a year ago. ChaplaincyPlus is a Christian charity which provides personal support and encouragement to people working in the professional and commercial sectors in Birmingham City Centre. For me this new job, which is part time working flexible hours, marks a total change in career and lifestyle. I had spent the previous 20 years practising law, for the first 6 years as a Barrister and for the other 14 years as a Solicitor.
So this is something new, an opportunity to follow my passion and desire to encourage and support people in the workplace. It has been a joy to listen and journey and where appropriate share faith, hopes and dreams. But, - here is the honesty bit - I have not actually managed to do what I was recruited to do. The City Lights group that I inherited from my predeceasssor has reduced in size beyond all recognition. The events and gatherings that I have arranged have been poorly attended. I have met lots of new people and the one to one work has thrived but I am not creating community or a network of young adults who will provide one another with friendship, support and encouragement.
There are a number of reasons for this. There has been significant upheaval in the workplace over the last 18 months or so and this continues. Those who are more junior in organisations are being asked to work long hours, take up secondments, work out of other regional offices etc. The workplace for the under 30s is a place of fluidity, uncertainty and long working hours.
Arguably the changes in the workplace lead to many feeling ever more isolated and without the time to connect in any meaningful way with others. So here is the challenge, how do I create community amongst these young adults.
I am inspired and impressed by the effective use of social media by many independent small businesses which are building relationships with customers, suppliers and competitors. They are creating a sense of relationship, belonging, loyalty and community. Let me give you two examples, a couple of weeks ago I bought some delicious goats' cheese and by the end of the day I was tweeting Gary (@AndersonandHill) who sold me the cheese and Sarah (@brockhallfarm) whose goats produced the cheese. This week, I tweeted about eating delicious cake in Six Eight Kafe (@SixEightKafe) and by the evening I received a tweet from Gavin (@tobizzy2bake) who made the Guinness cake. What fun!
So begins the second year of this new career. I need to embrace and explore more widely the use social media and think creatively about how to create safe and interesting spaces of connection and community for those who have little time or who may not be physically present. Thoughts, ideas, experiences and inspiration are most welcome if you have any you would like to share!
Monday, 16 January 2012
Are you sitting comfortably ...
... then I'll begin!
Comfort and listening so often go hand in hand. Story telling in all its forms is best done with audience that is physically at ease - whether the medium for the story telling is film, television or the spoken word.
Most of us make a cup of tea (or similar) before watching a favourite television programme. When we go to the cinema we always ask those we go with "where do you want to sit?". When we meet up with friends we always ensure that they are comfortable before we start talking and sharing our stories - "would you like a drink?", "shall I take your coat?", "you look cold, sit near the fire", "have you eaten or would you like something?". Hospitality and story telling, in all its forms, go hand in hand.
When we are learning the physical comfort of our environment is a key factor in the learning experience. The right temperature, sufficient light, comfortable chair, a table or desk, a good view of the screen or speaker, adequate comfort breaks with access to refreshments all aid our ability to learn and take on board information. The way we engage with new information and our attitude to that is very often shaped by the environment we are in when we are learning that information.
I am currently on an course called Mission Shaped Ministry which is essentially about Fresh Expressions of Church. The course is interesting and the materials and speakers have been excellent. The course is being held primarily in the basement bar of a local pub. The venue is dark, cold, the chairs are not comfortable and the tables are not big enough to easily use the course materials, not every seat enables the learner to see the speaker or the screen. Some are excited that a course about being Church in a culturally relevant way is being held in a pub. I would prefer to be more comfortable so that I can fully engage with the materials, the speakers, the discussions and group work.
People are all different and ideas about comfort and venues which are fit for purpose will vary. I wonder whether common ground about hospitality and welcome are more easily established . I would think that any "Church" whether a fresh expression or otherwise would want to model hospitality and welcome to everyone as a core value. Surely how we respond to the wellbeing of those around us says alot about who we are and what motivates us?
Comfort and listening so often go hand in hand. Story telling in all its forms is best done with audience that is physically at ease - whether the medium for the story telling is film, television or the spoken word.
Most of us make a cup of tea (or similar) before watching a favourite television programme. When we go to the cinema we always ask those we go with "where do you want to sit?". When we meet up with friends we always ensure that they are comfortable before we start talking and sharing our stories - "would you like a drink?", "shall I take your coat?", "you look cold, sit near the fire", "have you eaten or would you like something?". Hospitality and story telling, in all its forms, go hand in hand.
When we are learning the physical comfort of our environment is a key factor in the learning experience. The right temperature, sufficient light, comfortable chair, a table or desk, a good view of the screen or speaker, adequate comfort breaks with access to refreshments all aid our ability to learn and take on board information. The way we engage with new information and our attitude to that is very often shaped by the environment we are in when we are learning that information.
I am currently on an course called Mission Shaped Ministry which is essentially about Fresh Expressions of Church. The course is interesting and the materials and speakers have been excellent. The course is being held primarily in the basement bar of a local pub. The venue is dark, cold, the chairs are not comfortable and the tables are not big enough to easily use the course materials, not every seat enables the learner to see the speaker or the screen. Some are excited that a course about being Church in a culturally relevant way is being held in a pub. I would prefer to be more comfortable so that I can fully engage with the materials, the speakers, the discussions and group work.
People are all different and ideas about comfort and venues which are fit for purpose will vary. I wonder whether common ground about hospitality and welcome are more easily established . I would think that any "Church" whether a fresh expression or otherwise would want to model hospitality and welcome to everyone as a core value. Surely how we respond to the wellbeing of those around us says alot about who we are and what motivates us?
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Hidden in plain sight
The boy (my son) was very entertained that he didn't need to hide the gifts that he had bought my husband for Christmas. He simply left them on his desk in his bedroom and in all the muddle that is a 13 year old boy's bedroom the gifts were not obvious nor were they spotted by the intended recipient. Much more care was apparantly taken in hiding the gifts intended for me!
How often do we not see things which are obvious and visible either because we are not looking for those things specifically or because we get distracted by the general busyness or muddle of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
I have been thinking how relevant this is to the spiritual life - God is hidden in plain sight. So often we are not looking for Him or when we are looking for him we become too caught up in the circumstances and the other things which we can see.
It is interesting to reflect on the Christmas story in this context. The shepherds and wisemen had to be directed to the Christ-child. Whereas Anna and Simeon recognised for themselves that which was hidden in plain sight. Did they recognise the Christ-child because they had spent so long listening to and looking for God. Were they able to "zone out" of the noise and distractions around them to see those hidden things.
I am wondering how very often I miss out on the things that are hidden in plain sight. If I lived a bit more slowly and watchfully I would spot them!
How often do we not see things which are obvious and visible either because we are not looking for those things specifically or because we get distracted by the general busyness or muddle of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
I have been thinking how relevant this is to the spiritual life - God is hidden in plain sight. So often we are not looking for Him or when we are looking for him we become too caught up in the circumstances and the other things which we can see.
It is interesting to reflect on the Christmas story in this context. The shepherds and wisemen had to be directed to the Christ-child. Whereas Anna and Simeon recognised for themselves that which was hidden in plain sight. Did they recognise the Christ-child because they had spent so long listening to and looking for God. Were they able to "zone out" of the noise and distractions around them to see those hidden things.
I am wondering how very often I miss out on the things that are hidden in plain sight. If I lived a bit more slowly and watchfully I would spot them!
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